Not a ‘G’day’ for Cocktail Lovers at the Outback

“It’s full-on Aussie time!”

Translation? We’re going to the Outback Steakhouse!

If you have a television, you’ve certainly seen the ads. The camera swirls around food platters filled with sizzling steaks and deep-fried seafood (with a chunk of food inevitably dipped into sauce or butter at some point), lingering over the gooey desserts, and with the chipper voice of Australian actor William Snow assuring you you’ll love whatever this week’s special is (it usually involves steak). Outback, where the good times never end!

Having never ventured into the establishment before, I decided now was the time to satisfy my curiosity and rustled up a couple of friends to join me on this excursion. Turns out Outbacks are a bit thin on the ground these days, with not a single one within the Seattle city limits. We had to venture into the wilds of suburban Tukwila, where the Outback is nestled in the mini-malls that tend to spring up around a major mall (Westfield Southcenter, in this case). We wisely chose to arrive during that quiet period between lunch and dinner, around 4:30 pm, meaning there was plenty of available parking, and we were seated right away; by the time we left after 6 pm, the parking lot was full, and people were waiting to be seated. Make no mistake; these joints are popular.

Aussies are known for their love of a good tipple, so I looked forward to perusing the colorful drinks menu. It promised much, and there was even a range of budget cocktails, which is where I began, picking the Pina Koala: Bacardi Superior Rum, Disaronno Amaretto, coconut, and pineapple juice, and served straight up in a glass with a cinnamon sugar rim. It’s the kind of cool, creamy drink you’d like to sip poolside on a hot day, with amaretto adding a welcome cherry flavor. Very pleasant. But, aside from the amaretto, it didn’t appear as if the drink had any other alcohol at all.

The same could be said of my friend’s choice: the Huckleberry Hooch Moonshine, comprised (allegedly) of Blackberry Moonshine with orange, pineapple, cranberry juices, and muddled seasonal berries. The blackberry flavor came through strongly, nicely tempered by the flavor of the other juices. But again, alcohol seemed to be MIA, though my friend did enjoy the muddled berries.

I decided to up the ante by getting a drink with multiple alcohols. I briefly considered the Captain’s Mai Tai (Captain Morgan Rum, with the option to add a float of Myer’s Dark Rum for an additional two bucks), but ultimately went for the Castaway Cocktail. “Good choice!” our server said of this concoction, which is supposed to be comprised of Skyy Infusions Citrus Vodka, Cruzan Passion Fruit Rum, Malibu Coconut Rum, blood orange Sour, and pineapple juice. It proved to be another cool, refreshing beverage with a nice blend of juices. And no noticeable alcohol.

What gives Outback? Are you so concerned with maintaining a family-friendly atmosphere that the drinks are watered down to prevent a patron from getting a bit tipsy? Even Bacardi will give you some bang for your buck if dispensed in the right proportions. What a disappointment!

To salvage things, I moved on to the wine list. Though the only sparkling wine offered was prosecco (too sweet for my taste), there was a decent selection of other offerings. I selected a cabernet from Browne Family Vineyards, chosen specifically because of the vineyard’s location: Columbia Valley, wine country in Washington state (you can’t go wrong with a wine from Columbia Valley). It proved to be a fine, robust choice, pairing well with steak and also with the richness of the New York-style cheesecake dessert, which was large enough to serve three.

And so, my Outback verdict: the food is satisfying, the specialty cocktails are not. Though I still might opt for the Down Under Sauza Gold Coast ‘Rita on a future visit (which promises an extra shot of tequila and a shot of Cointreau), the safer bet here is to order a drink where the alcohol can’t be diluted: liquor straight up or on the rocks, wine, or beer (and with a full bar, you’ll have plenty of choices). As for the rest — buyer beware!

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